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Hello you guys,

Happy Monday! I hope your week is starting off beautifully. Today is literally the first Monday I have not been as busy as I usually am. Such a breeze. It does however feel a little weird not to run around like a chicken with its head cut off. The analogy is pretty hilarious I know but that is exactly what I think a headless chicken would be like… don’t judge me!

Lately, I have been pushing myself a lot. There is so much I would like to be able to accomplish that I have lost sight of so many things that used to be very important to me and invested myself in work. I have made the choice and commitment to pursue several “projects” and at some point I found myself overwhelmed with all the stress. I had to take a step back and reflect on the choices I was making. I had a to re-evaluate my priorities and decide what was the best for me. I started asking myself questions I had been avoiding. Where am I in life? How did I get to that point? And where am I trying to get so desperately?

I realized a lot of this seeming run after the clock all began when I started comparing the stage in which I am in my life to some of my closest friends’. Yes, ladies (you know who you are), my admiration and happiness for you began to turn into resentment for what I have. I wanted more… I wanted a slice of a cake I felt I deserved. After all, we almost have the same background, went to same schools, and as friends we have celebrated your successes together. Oh my days… another very hard truth to admit. Can’t take it back now.

I forgot to practice my own preaching. I lost appreciation for who I am and what I have. I forgot to be thankful for what I have been blessed with. And most of all I felt entitled. I became a complaining machine. I would find something bad about what I called “my situation” every chance I got. I became depressed and anxious. I hated my job and I had to do something drastic. As a matter of facts, I was tired of jobs; I wanted a career. I hated my body and wished I could go to sleep and wake up in a different one. I resented my mate for not being supportive and romantic enough. EVERYTHING felt literally wrong in my life…

Then I was reminded of the very thing I had told so many before. How can you expect to be blessed with more if you can’t even appreciate the little things you have? Now don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with wanting more from life and working hard to get it. However, we all need to be aware and more carefully when our ambitions become toxic. And my ah-ah moment came in the form of a fortune cookie from a Chinese restaurant (how bad is that) …

I realized I had lost track of what mattered. No situation is permanent. I am alive and well. I have a source of income, a roof over my head, and people who love me. If I wanted a job that would involve doing something I actually enjoy I had two options. Disregard all the rejection emails and keep applying with the firm conviction that a “yes” would come through at some point; or I could create the opportunity for myself. If I so desperately wanted a different body, why was I not doing anything proactive about it instead of talking about it all the time. If I wanted more from my “beau”, well as for that one I am yet to find a solution {laughs}.

I reassessed my perspectives and I made up my mind. I still want my dream career so I am applying for opportunities and letting everyone in my circle know I am on the lookout. I started writing my blog combining my two passions: writing and helping others. And guess what? This feels so much better than lamenting. I joined a fitness center and I am working on building my dream body… again… nevertheless, in the meantime, I am learning to love my current one… again…

I am learning to remind myself that every beautiful piece of art takes time to build. I aspire to big things, so how about starting with the little ones. Small incremental changes will surely pay off. I keep my eyes on my goals but I try not to forget to enjoy the ride. And most of all I try to remember to do everything with love.

Love is the Key.

#motivation